In the latest episode of Audio Signals Podcast, I had the pleasure of chatting with Mark Steven Porro about the art of storytelling, family history, and the heartfelt journey of caregiving.
Guest: Mark Steven Porro, Author and Owner, A Cup of Tea on the Commode.
On LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/markporro
On Twitter | https://twitter.com/teaonthe
On Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/teaonthe
On TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@markstevenporro
On Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/a_cup_of_tea_on_the_commode
On YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@acupofteaonthecommode
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Host: Marco Ciappelli, Co-Founder at ITSPmagazine [@ITSPmagazine] and Host of Redefining Society Podcast & Audio Signals Podcast
On ITSPmagazine | https://www.itspmagazine.com/itspmagazine-podcast-radio-hosts/marco-ciappelli
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Episode Introduction
Welcoming Listeners Back
"Hey there, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Audio Signals Podcast," I kicked things off, thrilled to dive back into another storytelling session. You all know how much I love a good story – it's in our DNA. Whether you're painting, writing, making music, or just spinning a yarn with a buddy, storytelling connects us all.
Introducing Mark Steven Porro
I introduced my guest, Mark Steven Porro, and we jumped right into it. Mark's journey is quite the tale itself – from growing up in New Jersey to chasing dreams in Los Angeles as an actor, stand-up comedian, and screenwriter, to ultimately capturing his family’s history through his writing.
The Heartwarming Tale of Caregiving
Mark shared the story behind his book, "A Cup of Tea on the Commode," a touching recount of his caregiving journey for his aging mother. Growing up in a lively Italian-American family, Mark's upbringing gave him the resilience and compassion needed for this role. His dedication to bringing joy to his mother’s final years, despite the hurdles, is truly heartwarming.
The Moment of Transformation
In 2011, Mark’s life took a sharp turn with a distressing call about his mother's health. He moved back home to care for her, showing deep love and commitment. "My first kid was an 89-year-old lady," Mark quipped, highlighting the tender humor that flavors his caregiving story.
Crafting Stories from Life’s Chapters
Throughout the podcast, Mark emphasized the role of humor and storytelling in tough times. He shared how he documented his caregiving journey through videos, notes, and poems, offering advice and comfort to others in similar situations. This evolved into a therapeutic and meaningful project for Mark.
Finding Universal Resonance
Our conversation explored the universal experience of caring for aging parents and the lessons learned along the way. Mark's stories of family resilience, love, and joy resonated deeply, blending humor with honesty.
The Title: "A Cup of Tea on the Commode"
I asked Mark about the catchy title of his book. He explained that it originated from serving his mom her favorite cup of tea during bathroom breaks, a simple act of care that became a cherished routine.
The Broader Impact and Future Projects
We wrapped up with Mark discussing the impact of his book and the positive feedback from readers. He hinted at future projects, continuing his mission to preserve and share meaningful family stories.
Conclusion
I closed the episode by thanking Mark for sharing his touching and humorous journey. I encouraged everyone to check out more about Mark on his website and to stay tuned for upcoming episodes of Audio Signals Podcast.
Stay tuned for more captivating stories and insightful conversations on Audio Signals Podcast. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button!
About the Book
The parent/child role reversal might not have been unique to Mark, but how he dealt with it was. A Cup of Tea on the Commode—a sad, sweet, and funny memoir—chronicles his adventures of filling his mother’s last years with love, laughter, and joy. Though not always successful, he came pretty damn close.
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Resources
A Cup of Tea on the Commode (Book): https://acupofteaonthecommode.org/book-table/
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Book | “A Cup of Tea on the Commode” | A Conversation About Caregiving, Family, and Storytelling with Author Mark Steven Porro | Audio Signals Podcast With Marco Ciappelli
Please note that this transcript was created using AI technology and may contain inaccuracies or deviations from the original audio file. The transcript is provided for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon as a substitute for the original recording, as errors may exist. At this time, we provide it “as it is,” and we hope it can be helpful for our audience.
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[00:00:00] Marco Ciappelli: Well, hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Audio Signals Podcast. I've been catching up after a little bit of, uh, hiatus from this show, but I love talking about storytelling so much that, uh, now I'm really cranking on a lot of episode, although I do need to. The real job, I need to keep talking about society and technology.
And it's not that I don't enjoy that, but share stories. It's something that I love, listen to stories. And most of all, as I like to say, and I like to start the podcast with, we are all made of stories. I don't care if you're a painter, a writer, a musician, or Even if you just tell your story to a friend, you're still telling a story.
That's, that's how we, that's how we are in a society. I don't think we could be in a society without stories. So, today, I'm actually really excited. It is, uh, it's a story that I, I don't know. I haven't read the book. I will. Actually, I will listen to the audible. Because that's how I, you know, consume my book lately.
And Mark, my guest today, he actually did what I love people that write books to do, which is read their own. book. I just love when the author reads the book. So I'm looking forward to that. But before I keep rambling, here's Mark. If you're watching the video on YouTube, you already see it and see him. And if you're not, and you're listening to the audio.
Here is welcome to the show.
[00:01:39] Mark Steven Porro: Hi, it's great to be here.
[00:01:41] Marco Ciappelli: All right, you're like, all right, you spoke too much already. So my No, really, I'm excited. So I wanna I know you have a really great story I want to hear about it, but I want to start obviously with your story personal story kind of like your Or short bio and how you ended up writing the book that we're talking about today.
[00:02:05] Mark Steven Porro: Okay. So I, I grew up in a, um, uh, a little village in, uh, in, uh, northern New Jersey, about 20 minutes outside of New York city or 20 hours, depending on traffic. Uh, I've got, uh, four older siblings, two sisters, two brothers, and a younger sister. And, uh, both of my parents worked. We had a great, I guess, uh, uh, Italian, uh, upbringing in, um, in New Jersey.
And, um, mom was a proofreader for the largest newspaper in New Jersey. And my dad was a chemist. And so they worked full time. My mother actually worked a night shift. So we, uh, all of us are very independent people who would at one point in our lives owned our own businesses. And I wasn't sure if that's because of our independence or that people were afraid to hire us.
So it might've been a mix of both, but, uh, then I, I went to school at, uh, the Ohio state university. So I slowly moved that West. And I, I kind of tell a funny story. I visited two colleges, Harvard. And the Ohio State University. I ended up going to the Ohio State University. Apparently the other one's a little pickier about SAT scores and things like that.
So, uh, but I was happy to go to Ohio State. And then I got a degree in industrial design, which married a lot of my love. So I was very creative. We grew up in a very creative household. And, um, so math and science were, uh, really important to me, but also art. So industrial design at Ohio state, especially was a very European Bauhaus, uh, version of it.
And it was married all those three interests, which was great. Uh, but I think because of the creative household I grew up in, uh, the acting bug got to me in 1984 and I moved out to Los Angeles. And did that, uh, Hollywood thing for 28 years. And that what I loved about that, I mean, I had a pretty good thing going and I've got a nice pension coming up, uh, in a few years, which was a nice surprise, but it got me into writing and writing is what, uh, brings us together today.
So, um, uh, I'm very thankful for, I guess, all my years, even the tough ones in LA.
[00:04:18] Marco Ciappelli: Yeah. So you did the LA thing, the Hollywood thing. What, what is the Hollywood thing for people that are not in the industry? Well, most people
[00:04:27] Mark Steven Porro: go out there to, to act, but there are a lot of people that go out there that want to be an agent.
They want to be a lawyer, uh, entertainment lawyer. They want to be a producer and a writer and things like that. So I initially went out there to act. Um, I, then I started doing some standup. And, um, one of the classes I took, so I wanted to be a good actor. So I studied from day one and I had an agent connection actually from Ohio.
Cause I did some modeling and commercials in, in Ohio and I had a connection. So I had an agent right away. Uh, not a great agent, but, uh, God bless her soul. She was my first agent. And then, uh, I started, uh, uh, acting, uh, uh, lessons right away and got, got into class. And I pretty much did that the whole time I was there, uh, because acting is like, uh, a muscle you've got to keep it, uh, tuned up and it's like exercise.
So, um, but one class said, It was an audition class and it was a big time casting director who cast everything from, uh, the, the ABC soap operas to happy days and Laverne and Shirley and all those things. So it was a good guy to know. And he really liked my work. And he said that we're gonna all be writing a scene at the end of this class and you're gonna cast it.
And have them perform it. And, uh, it freaked me out at first because this was the big time and I always kind of created fun stuff growing up, but now you're in, in Hollywood where you have the, the, the, the top of the, uh, uh, I guess the, the best guys. So, um, I did it and I cast it well. These guys did a great job and I got hooked.
I said, boy, this is, this is fun. So, uh, I started writing, I guess, scenes and then characters and then screen plays and short films and things like that. None of the screenplays were produced. The short film was produced and actually won a comedy award, which was nice. Um, But, uh, out of that, I, I started writing and recording family history, which was, um, good, because I was very curious about the family.
We had some interesting stories from way back when, and they always fascinated me. So I always recorded, recorded those. And, um, uh, when we had family reunions, I would, uh, uh, write a poem that summarized the, uh, the highlights of the week. And, uh, and then I, I actually started a greeting card company. So I did a lot of writing for greeting cards and then, uh, made those very personal.
So whoever got those got a really nice personal note with something special in there about the family. Um, so, and then if we want to get to the subject of the book in 2011, I got a call from my brother at this point, I was in LA for many years. Uh, my mother was living in the house. We all grew up in, in New Jersey.
And she had some people overseeing some of the household duties because at that point she just turned 89. Uh, but she was not happy and she just kind of checked out. So she was non responsive. My brother, uh, called and said she's in bed and almost like a semi comatose state. Uh, the doctor, he called the doctor, the doctor said cut off all meds and food.
She's going. And then hospice was called and I kind of freaked out because 14 years earlier hospice was called for my dad and two days later he died. And, um, so all the kids flew in and, uh, she didn't open her eyes or very rarely opened her eyes, didn't talk, didn't say a word. She did respond a little bit to touch, but I think she was.
Uh, really depressed and saying if this is going to be my final years, I'm done. I don't want this. And I have a chapter in the book called A Silent Scream. And I think it was a cry for help because once all our kids were there. She slowly but surely after a few weeks snapped out of it. And then I kind of realized that, yeah, the, the, the environment that we grew up in was a beautiful, welcoming, fun home.
Both of my parents were very funny people and it was no longer that. Um, and so I, I didn't make the decision then, but I stayed probably a couple of months and, um, and went back to LA and then came back in September. and, uh, took care of her again. We learned, uh, my younger sister and I hung out with hospice because we didn't know how long mom was going to be with us, but we wanted to take care of her as much as we could.
So we learned how to do all the tips and tricks that they do, changing the bed with the helpless patient in bed, changing the diapers, taking care of any kind of medical needs and things like that. So, uh, I think mom sensed that we were doing this and she slowly and surely snapped out of it and I realized that she deserved better.
And by the end of the year, I moved back into my childhood home. Uh, and my, uh, took over the 24 seven caregiving. So my first kid was a 89 year old lady.
[00:09:22] Marco Ciappelli: Well, it's like when I was reading the, the synopsis of the book and the comment that you're getting from people that read it, it seems to me that. All that you have done and it obviously I mean we are who we are in a certain point And we probably when you get to a certain age You've lived at least a couple of different lives if not more meaning different business You've done this you have done that you had like your moment And and that's great because this is what make us become who we are and And I feel like, again, by just reading what the book is about, is that your entire personality is in that book.
I mean, there is, I'm reading that there is the comedy, like you present a delicate, intimate situation that changed your life from being in LA, doing your things, doing the Hollywood things, to say, you know what, mom is mom. I'm italian. So I think that way And you did that so After all these experience what prompted what prompt you to say?
Hey, this is a story that is worth to To share
[00:10:37] Mark Steven Porro: well while I was doing it, uh again, uh with my habit of recording family history I took lots of notes. I didn't know what I was going to do with them yet With my dad 14 years earlier. I took lots of notes, too um, but I only had eight days with him, so You And that will be the subject of the next book, focusing more on my dad.
So on this one, I took a lot of photos and a lot of videos. I even had one, it wasn't a GoPro, but one of those cameras I put on my head to do the whole, because the, the morning and evening routines were pretty intricate. So if anybody needed to learn how to do this stuff, I wanted to record that as well.
And then while I was doing this, being a baby boomer, a lot of my friends were facing the same issue. Um, and so I gave them tips, uh, uh, and some advice of what I was doing and they seemed to get some benefit out of it. So I said, I think I got something here. And I think a book is gonna be the best, uh, way to get it out there because, um, I don't say it's a how to book, it is a, what I did book my, my approach was pretty unique 'cause.
I didn't have any children before this and it was a learning, uh, kind of a steep learning curve because I jumped right in and, uh, and we didn't have any major disasters, but it was fun. And my mother was, uh, had a really good sense of humor about it. And, uh, and I certainly, uh, put humor in wherever I could because it's.
It's a real stressful deal. And, um, and it's unusual for a son to take that on, but it just worked out that I, I felt I was going to do it. To me, it wasn't a big deal. Luckily things worked out logistically. Um, but the, the main focus was my mother deserves better. And I'm going to give it to her. Nobody's getting, uh, I think do it better than, than I can.
And she trusted me. And then I asked her if she wanted me to come do this. And she said, yes. So,
[00:12:36] Marco Ciappelli: so tell me about the title, a cup of tea on the commode. Well,
[00:12:41] Mark Steven Porro: I thought it was catchy and, and I didn't create it.
[00:12:44] Marco Ciappelli: That's why I'm asking you about it.
[00:12:46] Mark Steven Porro: So, um, uh, my mom's favorite beverage was a cup of hot tea, skim milk, no sugar.
And, um, uh, after this incident, she really didn't walk anymore. Um, so getting her to and from the bathroom was kind of a big chore and could be dangerous. So we put a commode bedside and sometimes mother nature took a little longer than was comfortable for either one of us. So one day I just kind of jokingly said, Hey, would you like a cup of hot tea?
And she said, And it became a big hit. And so I called, you know, what she was doing multitasking and it was, uh, it was great. So that became part of our morning ritual cup of tea on the commode.
[00:13:27] Marco Ciappelli: That's nice. How long this thing went, uh, went on, this relationship? Uh,
[00:13:32] Mark Steven Porro: I, the book, I say our journey lasted three and a half years.
[00:13:37] Marco Ciappelli: So from, from being there because you thought that was going to be it and having that fear because it did happen not too long before. Yeah, we had, we had
[00:13:47] Mark Steven Porro: a priest come in and get, deliver the last rites and all that. We picked up the coffin and everything was set. And then you
[00:13:54] Marco Ciappelli: got the gift of this all this time with your mom.
I'm gonna call it a gift because I think yeah
[00:14:00] Mark Steven Porro: You know what? I have I I I I 100 percent agree with you. I have something was so what's interesting about so I wrote the book and It it took me a while because i'm really kind of a an emotional guy when it comes to family. So um, I took the notes and Uh, just kind of let it kind of, uh, simmer in me for a long time before I could really sit down because I would even now at certain parts of the book, just, uh, I tear up, um, and most of it's funny.
I mean, there's a, there's, it's a good fun is a bit of a rollercoaster, but, um, uh, so it took some time to do that and upon reflection. So originally I think, okay, so it sounds like I went back to rescue my mom. And I kind of did, but upon reflection and thinking about the whole thing, I think, you know, my mother's cry for help might've been a rescuing for me.
Because at that time, um, my business was failing. I had a snack food business at that point, probably doing it about a dozen years. And, uh, it was, uh, it, it, it hit some critical time. So that wasn't doing great. My acting career, I was aging out of that. Uh, so that was slowing up. I didn't have any particular, uh, uh, intimate relationship at that point.
And, um, This gave me an opportunity to give me something that was really meaningful and gave me a purpose. And it's, so it really was a gift to me, um, because we had a great time. And, um, uh, another reason I wanted to record this because we have, um, There were some intimate conversations and moments that I didn't want the family to miss out on.
And they were just, some of them were precious, some were just freaking funny. Uh, and, uh, you know, there was other moments that weren't, uh, uh, pleasant. And that was me being a first time parent. So I'm not too proud of that. But the book, I have it all in there because I wanted to tell an honest story.
[00:16:00] Marco Ciappelli: So tell me, tell me about the personality of your mom, because When you describe the quote where you say, you know, do you understand that I am here and I'll do everything I can to help you, but you need to listen to me.
She left you hanging a little bit, like, let's see how this goes. So tell me about your mom personality. And I think that's what to have this, you know, sad, funny. Balancing, I guess. So yeah, tell me if I'm wrong. She was very funny
[00:16:35] Mark Steven Porro: and very sociable in her youth. She was an only child. So that's where she was stubborn and independent.
And that came out of being an only child. And, um, uh, she had a lot of tragedy in her life early on too. And I have that recorded in the book. And so that, I think, um, Caused her to put up some emotional walls. So she was not easy to get, uh, to, to break down. And, uh, we had, uh, uh, I think because I was a really curious kid, I got both of my parents to open up because they were a depression babies and you, you put on a hard exterior and it's tough.
Uh, to get through. And, uh, so both of my folks were like that. And, um, they don't talk about pain or their struggles or anything like that. They just keep moving forward. And, and I got them both to open up with really special moments. And I, again, I wanted to share those with my, uh, siblings, especially because, um, I don't know if they knew these things, they read the book and I'm sure that there was a lot of new revelations in there for them.
Um, but, uh, so with my mom throughout our life, I think because of our relationship, I got her to open up about a lot of stuff. Um, she didn't talk that much in, uh, during our journey because, uh, she was just kind of past that. And she also had a little bit of dementia. Um, so we didn't talk about anything in depth.
Um, we, we near the end, we did talk about, or she brought it up actually about death, which was amazing that she did. She wanted, she said, I want to take my earrings off and I've never seen her without earrings.
[00:18:14] Marco Ciappelli: And
[00:18:14] Mark Steven Porro: I said, why do you want to do that? She says, cause I want to save them for heaven. And I said, well, the best place for you to save those is in your ears.
And so why don't we keep them in? And that was, I think the only time we talked about heaven. Um, or one other time, I think when she mentioned heaven, I said, why? And she says, well, I'm not going to hell. And I said, I know why you're bringing this up now. And she wanted to make sure that. Uh, you know, the earrings were protected and I think also that might have been, you know, the mother coming out wanting to make sure that we were all okay.
So it was, yeah, it was nice. Those little moments were very nice, and I wanted to make sure that we preserved those things.
[00:18:58] Marco Ciappelli: That's, that's really cool. And I think the other gift for you is that you're able to, to share your stories, as you said, with, with friends. With filming with words and even telling this story.
I mean, you're really good at telling the story reading as if as an actor. So I love that there is a mix of all of these together. And, uh, and you told me before we started that you're actually. Planning to, to have other adventure in the history of your family. So tell me a little bit about those.
[00:19:31] Mark Steven Porro: Well, I, I touch on, uh, one of those, uh, in the book, I have a small chapter in there about my great grandfather, who was the first to come over from Italy to, uh, he settled in Brooklyn with his oldest son and it took them four years to earn enough money to send for Um, his wife, uh, one daughter and, uh, and Michael who turned out to be my grandfather.
And he was 10 years old. When
[00:19:58] Marco Ciappelli: did he do that? When did he came to the U. S.? Well, we didn't,
[00:20:00] Mark Steven Porro: we didn't know that until I went over there. So, uh, 1895 is when my grandfather came over. And we didn't know it was a four year split until we went to this village. So, um, I was working on a, um, a stage adaptation of Fellini's eight and a half in LA for a long time.
We were workshopping this with my, uh, uh, with my acting coach. And also he was a, a, a big time, uh, director, just a phenomenal director, Milton Koselis. And, um, and so we were working on this. I got into my Italian roots and there was a rumor. About my great grandfather that he was run out of this village when he was the mayor, because he was having an affair.
With his secretary who was also married and the village, the villagers ran them out of town. And that shocked me for two reasons. One that, you know, they were doing something wrong, but also in Italy, really infidelity. Come on. And so, um, yeah, so, uh, it had been a hundred years since any family member ever went back.
My grandfather never went back. His, his father never went back. And we weren't sure why. And maybe it was this rumor. And, um, so, uh, my dad had never been overseas before. During the war, he had an ear problem, so he wasn't allowed to fly. So he was a chemist and he, he did, uh, he was shipped out, uh, to, um, Utah to work on chemical warfare, which was something he didn't really like talking about.
And so I have to do some more research on that for the next book. So I took him on this and at this point he was, uh, in the throes of heart disease. So he was not well. And it took me a long time to talk him into it. I didn't know that the, the, the health issues were that bad. Cause I was in LA. We talked, everything sounded fine.
Uh, but they kept that from me, I think, because they say you're too emotional. So, well, you know, that's kind of a vital thing to tell somebody who's taken to a foreign country. I didn't speak the language. I spoke a little Italian. My dad didn't, his father never taught. Any Italian to any of us. Um, so, uh, we get over there and, um, we, it took quite a journey to get to this little village, but we get to the village.
At that point, it was only 200 people. We found one gentleman that spoke some Italian and, uh, with my little bit of Italian and of course our hands, we, we communicated quite well. Um, and so he says the first thing out of his mouth is we go to the police and I'm like, Oh crap, here we go. We're going to be run out of town.
The policeman, uh, Vito Cupola ended up being the entire police force, but also the town historian. Which was very cool. So we go into his, uh, in the, to the police station and Paolo introduces me as, uh, he said, two Americans have come, not, not even my name. And Vito launches into this story. And I'm trying to follow it.
I said, no, I said, so Paolo, what is that? He goes, oh, that's the famous story that we've been telling for years. He just told it to me again this morning. And I said, well, tell him I'm a Poro. And he goes, ah, Natale Poro, America, 1891, just like that. So that was my great grandfather. And then we thought that I'm, my dad was so tired.
He was sitting outside. So he missed the, the, uh, the initial. Uh, interaction with these guys. And so later on, we found out that, um, uh, Vito loved telling this story. So I asked him if I could film him doing an encore. And he said, sure. With Paolo introducing or translating for us. And so Paolo tells us that.
Yes, the mayor at that time in probably the 1880s somewhere was cheating and, uh, the, the secretary was also cheating and the villagers were really ashamed, but they were afraid of the mayor. The mayor was very powerful. And, um, so nobody said anything, uh, but then the, the, the rumor started spreading around the region.
And bringing a lot of shame and cellos on Vito was the village. And, um, so, but again, they didn't do anything, but one day a 31 year old man stormed into the mayor's office and said, you must stop this affair, or we will run you out of town. That guy was the hero. And that was my great grandfather. So they ran, I don't know how that other story got over to the United States because the only people who came were his family.
But somebody, maybe some distant relative passed this along. So, uh, my great grandfather actually was the hero. And that's why they, at that point, telling this story for over a hundred years. And, um, so we were like, we were like heroes coming back to this little village and that point it was 200 people and we had a lovely time.
So, um, I'll go more into that in the book. I wrote a screenplay. We're going to try to do a movie about it and none of that worked out yet. So maybe still in the future, but
[00:25:08] Marco Ciappelli: that is so cool. You know why it's cool. I'm going to tell you a very short story. My partner, uh, in the ITSB magazine. He was born in L.
A. but from his mom's family, they're from Sicily. So he just went literally two weeks ago through going to search in this small town, well one is Palermo so it's not small, but one it is another small town near Agrigento in Sicily to get the birth certificate of both the grand grandparent and the grand grandmother and his grandfather comes from the similar situation where is a small little town.
He walks with his very little Italian, because I've been trying to teach him Italian, but he won't get it. He walks into the only bar in the piazza and he asked, he said the name of his grandfather and it turned out that the bar owner is a close relative. And he says, yeah, we know who is this guy. Let me, let me call this guy.
And he's, and I'm laughing inside when you're telling the story because his brother is the mayor of the little town. I'm like, this is how many of these stories there are out there. It's probably the truth. If you're Irish, I mean, I'm not just saying because I'm Italian, but of course, you know, you are in France now.
So I'm sure, I mean, you don't know what this small The small town. Yeah. And the mayors are
[00:26:33] Mark Steven Porro: powerful. I
[00:26:35] Marco Ciappelli: love all of this. It's just like I'm seeing a movie in my head.
[00:26:38] Mark Steven Porro: Yeah. You have to do
[00:26:41] Marco Ciappelli: this thing.
[00:26:42] Mark Steven Porro: Yeah. It was, it was fun. And then I have, uh, so I had certain goals. One was really find the story. Um, and, and, and hopefully the house was there.
And sure enough, Vito closes the police station and starts walking down the street. And we said, where are we going? He says, we go to the house of Natale. So the house was still there. We didn't go inside because it was unoccupied. And they have a, um, they do this thing on the bottom, on the bottom of the door.
Some kind of a plank to let you know that nobody lives there yet. But I have a photo of my dad knocking on his father's door. It's just beautiful. And then my parents were both major recyclers, but especially my dad. And in the backyard of his father's house, there's a pile of junk. And I have on camera, my dad picking up a piece of it going, this must be why we don't throw anything away at home.
It's in my blood, which is lovely. So,
[00:27:39] Marco Ciappelli: wow. I love how you, you went back into all of this and, uh, you know, the story must be really Interesting to read, but I want to ask you one last question, because I mean, obviously, I could keep going forever. And we're talking about, you know, my culture, too. So
[00:27:58] Mark Steven Porro: yeah,
[00:27:59] Marco Ciappelli: but but to go back to the book, when you when you were writing the book, and this is a question I'd like to ask, what do you had in mind in terms of who is the audience for your book?
And And what do you think people are gonna really get out of it or what you hope? I mean, you never really know is that you watch a movie as a or as a director you have this intention and then somebody Right, right. I spin it around you read a book same thing. But as you were writing it What were you thinking you were going to communicate with this?
[00:28:32] Mark Steven Porro: Well, the original intent again was to record family history Um, and then as I was getting, uh, the reactions from friends who were hearing some of the stories and getting something out of it, uh, then it was, uh, it expanded to, uh, I guess baby boomers first, um, who, you know, it is entertaining, but there is there is some good advice in there as well.
And I hope people will, uh, uh, I guess learn something from that. But, um, yeah. It's entertaining and things like that. And I did a reading. This is before COVID struck. There was a, there's a lot of retirees here in this little village in France. And so there's a, uh, quite a expat community. So I was invited to do a presentation of this is before it was published.
Um, and I did this reading and a lot of these people are retirees and stuff like that, and one of the ladies stood up afterwards, this French woman, and says, when's this coming out? Because I want to give this to my children. To learn how to take care of me. And I went, wow, that's a whole nother market. I never really thought about.
So, um, uh, I've had a people young and old. I mean, most of the people who have read it have been, uh, I'm surprised because it's men and women. I would think mainly women, because this falls still about 60, 40 percent upon the daughters and the wives, the women of the family to do this, but more and more guys are taking it on.
And, uh, one of the things, you know, people say, well, it's a guy doing it. You're seeing your mother naked for the first time at 90 and you've got to get over it and get on with it because. This is what I guess the acting and design and everything came in. It was like, this was the new role I'm playing. I'm a caregiver.
So assume that role and get over it. So she's still my mother. She deserves respect and dignity, but I have a job to do. Um, so, uh, yeah. So, and I think that it's expanding. Some young people have read it. And, uh, maybe that is something they can look forward to or, or shy away from when that time comes. Um, but I, I, what's really cool about it, what I never thought about.
So the village I grew up with in, in, in, in New Jersey was 25, 000 people, but they still call it the village. And, um, I haven't been in touch with a lot of those people, even though our family is still, I have a brother who still lives in the town for probably over 50 years since I graduated high school and, uh, rarely went back.
I mean, to visit my family, but high school reunions and all I said, I went to one, I think, and, um, uh, All these people are starting to come up, especially on Facebook, that, uh, Friends Suggestions from Ridgewood, New Jersey, and, and so, uh, I, I just started inviting more of them, and more of them started getting into, uh, hearing about the book and get, because I, I, I'm pretty good at marketing, so I've, I've created like 150 teaser videos, and I do posts, probably two posts a week.
Um, on the blog in, uh, on all platforms for like probably over two years now. So, um, uh, the word is spreading and the stories they're sharing with me, beautiful, heartwarming, touching stories about their own experiences or what they got out of my book. Um, I got, I received one about three weeks ago from someone who I didn't know, but I knew she was from my hometown.
Uh, but she found out about it on one of those sites and, uh, And so she told me, Oh, she's taking care of her mother and things like that. And she hopes the book is going to be helpful. She said, I, you know, and then she'd say, I read it once. I can't wait to read it again to see, you know, uh, what I can learn from it.
Uh, and then she contacted me and said, you know, my mother died two weeks ago. And I want to tell you that your book and your story and the humor you put into it really helped me get through this. And that just killed me. I mean, so it's, it's amazing. You say your stories are very important and you don't know, again, how you put them, you put your heart and soul into something, you put it out in the world and you don't know how people are going to react.
But boy, when you get stuff like that, and I've had a few other people who recently lost their folks. And they, they have written me certain things like that too, which are just really heartbreaking and stuff, but we've all, you know, I've been through it. I lost both of my folks. They, they have, uh, they're going through it or, or they will go through it.
And so, um, yeah, it's, it's lovely. So I would just say the, the, the audience is, is getting wider and wider. And then the. What's really been nice is, you know, it's my first book. So you never know, but I have a, um, uh, I, I spent a lot of time studying the genre memoirs, a whole different thing from what I was used to doing.
And so I had a memoir mentor and I took classes from her and then read a lot of memoirs. And then I got a publisher, which was lovely. And, um, and that's very rare to, to, to get a special in your first book. So I got a publisher and they, the editors, um, that worked with me on the book. We're great. And so we really honed it.
I think it was pretty good. And that's how I land the publisher in the first place. They liked the story. They liked the potential of it. Uh, they liked the voice and the quality of the writing. So that was good. And a lot of that just came out of experience. And you
[00:33:56] Marco Ciappelli: got, uh, you know, a bunch of awards for, for that.
Yeah, that's, that's a nice sign. So that's a good sign. And I have to say that I'm one of those people that When I hear a story, I see a movie in my head. So I I've seen everything, a single thing you said. And I'm like, you know, that could be a pretty cool. I don't know if a movie. Yeah, for sure. But a stage play, I could totally see something like that.
I have
[00:34:26] Mark Steven Porro: a number of people have said, yeah, there should be a film and some people are working on it, but, uh, you know, Hollywood takes forever. So I'm not all that excited about it. I'd rather write. When you're right, Hollywood
[00:34:37] Marco Ciappelli: is not Hollywood anymore either. So, yeah, I think, yeah,
[00:34:41] Mark Steven Porro: I like writing. I like having that control, um, which, which is nice.
So,
[00:34:46] Marco Ciappelli: no, but look, I, I honestly enjoy it. Really listening to the story reconnected with what you have experienced. Kind of reliving it myself. I think it got, it got me thinking. You know, about certain things in life and I think that's, that's the whole thing. And if you can balance, you know, I mean, you could have gone completely sad and tragic and something like that, or balanced to the way you did.
So I got to say, I'm definitely going to download the, the audio book and read it. And, uh, I'm, I'm intrigued by, by it. I
[00:35:26] Mark Steven Porro: just wanted to say, so when, when I first took this on, I told my mom, if I do this, We're going to have fun. And she was game. She says, okay, let's do it. So that's, that's kind of what my motto is.
I try to find the joy in whatever I do. So, uh, especially in this particular thing, cause again, it can get very stressful. Um, but, uh, if you go in with that attitude, I'm going to make this fun and I'm going to find the joy and it makes it, it makes it so much easier, especially for your loved one as well.
[00:35:56] Marco Ciappelli: And to have something that is going to keep all this memory alive. Because every time you talk about it every time. Yeah, mom's still here, which is lovely. Yeah. Exactly with those, uh, with those hearings in, uh, in heaven. So yeah, why not? Well, Mark, that was great. I really enjoyed this conversation. And I want to invite, obviously, everybody to learn more about you on your website and There will be links to the book and the way to get in touch with you on the notes for the podcast.
If you're watching the video, uh, that it's going to be the same thing. And, uh, for me, just subscribe to the channel and the podcast as, uh, lately, I'm, I'm getting a lot of really great story. And, uh, I, I feel lucky that I get to share this kind of intimate moment, even if. You know, you are over there in France.
Maybe I'll get in touch with you when I'm in Italy. So we're yeah, please do. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you.
[00:37:03] Mark Steven Porro: This has been great. So, uh, yeah. All right. Take care, Marco.
[00:37:07] Marco Ciappelli: Everybody take care. I'll see you on the next story here on Audio Signals Podcast.