Hosts Marco Ciappelli & Dr. Susan Birne-Stone are excited to introduce The Mentor Project Podcast. In this first episode, Founder Dr. Deborah Heiser discusses TMP’s history, accomplishments, and vision. Learn how TMP pivoted during the pandemic, what countries they have impacted, and who Dr. Heiser’s most important childhood mentor was.
Guest: Dr. Deborah Heiser Ph.D. | Founder/CEO The Mentor Project, TEDx Speaker, Psychology Today Contributor, Thinkers50 Radar, Award-winning Researcher, Author, Adjunct Professor, Coach
On LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborah-heiser-phd/
On Twitter | https://twitter.com/deborahheiser
Personal Website: https://www.deborahheiser.com
The Mentor Project: https://mentorproject.org
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Hosts:
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone Ph.D., Host of The Mentor Project Podcast
Systems Psychotherapist, International Coach, Talk Show Host & Producer, Professor | Mentor at the Mentor Project
On LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-susan-birne-stone-phd-lcsw-62764a18/
Website | drsusanbirnestone.com
On ITSPmagazine | https://www.itspmagazine.com/itspmagazine-podcast-radio-hosts/dr-susan-birne-stone
Marco Ciappelli, Co-Founder at ITSPmagazine [@ITSPmagazine] and Host of Redefining Society Podcast
On ITSPmagazine | https://www.itspmagazine.com/itspmagazine-podcast-radio-hosts/marco-ciappelli
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Episode Introduction
Hosts Marco Ciappelli & Dr. Susan Birne-Stone are excited to introduce The Mentor Project Podcast.
In this first episode, Founder Dr. Deborah Heiser discusses TMP’s history, accomplishments, and vision. Learn how TMP pivoted during the pandemic, what countries they have impacted, and who Dr. Heiser’s most important childhood mentor was.
The Mentor Project Podcast has launched with its first episode featuring Dr. Deborah Heiser, co-founder of the Mentor Project.
In this episode, the hosts Dr. Susan Birne-Stone and Marco Ciappelli discuss the Mentor Project's origin story and its aim to bring individuals' legacies to life by pairing mentors and mentees in various fields such as science, technology, engineering, art, math, law, finance, and business.
The goal of the Mentor Project is to provide a platform for mentors to share their skills and expertise with others and for mentees to learn from those with experience in their field.
The new Podcast is an exciting platform that provides insights into the mentor-mentee relationship, and the impact it can have on an individual's life. The podcast also provides a platform for mentors to share their stories, experiences, and knowledge with the world.
The Mentor Project Podcast is a must-listen for anyone who is interested in mentoring, or who is seeking inspiration and guidance in their personal and professional lives. So, make sure to share this podcast with your friends and stay tuned for many more inspiring episodes.
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Resources
Learn More About The Mentor Project: https://mentorproject.org
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For more podcast stories from The Mentor Project:
https://www.itspmagazine.com/the-mentor-project-podcast
Watch the webcast version on-demand on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnYu0psdcllQSyw1kVnIvnQh_DzpPSPDm
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The Mentor Project’s origin story and the introduction of its new podcast | Hosts: Dr. Susan Birne-Stone and Marco Ciappelli | Guest: Dr. Deborah Heiser | Episode 1
SPEAKERS
Marco Ciappelli, Dr. Susan Birne-Stone, and Dr. Deborah Heiser
Marco Ciappelli 00:05
Susan, it’s happening!
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 00:08
I know it's so exciting. Oh my god, this is the very first recording. We're launching today. This is amazing.
Marco Ciappelli 00:16
We're launching multiple things at the same time. So no pressure here, no pressure. What are we launching, we're launching something that I say we've been discussing for a long time, which is a show together. And I am so excited about it. We'll see. We'll see where it goes. But I'm very optimistic.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 00:35
Me too. Me too. We always have these great conversations, where we bring in so many different perspectives on every topic that we just said the word! What's the word? What's the magic word? Perspectives! So welcome to our very first episode of Perspectives. And today, we're going to be introducing the mentor project. And so we're going to be as you said, we're going to be launching a lot of different things. But our very first perspective shows is highlighting the mentor project. This is so excited.
Marco Ciappelli 01:10
And the Mentor Project is at the core of perspectives, is at the core of Oz meeting, because we're both part of the mentor project. And if there is one reason why all of this is happening, and it's not just the two of us, the Mentor Project is full of incredible people. Even in our weekly meeting, always we say, I don't know why I'm here. I don't know if I belong, because everybody is so amazing. But the person that make this happen is the person that we're interviewing today, and we're doing the beginning of our show. That's great.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 01:43
So we can just bring her on and her this is Dr. Debbie Heiser, we're going to have on today. And she is actually the co founder and really the brains behind the entire mentor project.
Marco Ciappelli 01:54
So let’s make the magic happen.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 01:57
Let's bring her in. Marco. Let's bring
Marco Ciappelli 02:03
Yes, hi Deborah.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 02:08
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me on.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 02:12
And we are so excited that you are our first guest on the show perspectives as well as the mentor project on perspective. So this is so exciting. Marco was just saying how you actually other reason how we met, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be doing this. So you're really in the center of it all.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 02:33
You make me sound like match.com
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 02:35
You are you are for mentors, right for having great things. And that's we're going to talk about today, you are the match.com have matching the older generation with the younger generation, with mentors, even lateral mentor mentoring, which I know you're going to get into so why don't we begin at the beginning? Debbie, why don't you tell us all about your vision for the mentor project?
Dr. Deborah Heiser 03:03
Oh, sure. Thank you, I'd love to the kind of is like a match.com in a way. Um, you know, the vision for the mentor project is to bring individuals legacies to life. And in many ways, we are a mentor focused organization. And the vision was always that to be a mentor focused organization. And the reason is, we know that a mentee is going to get something out of being mentored. But we often don't talk about the mentors. Who are they, you know, it's like an elusive figure that's talked about when people mentioned mentoring. And the mentors are actually really the most exciting part of this, I think. And that's because when we reach a certain certain age, we have a desire to give back. And we know that mentors have a hard time finding mentees, people that they want to leave their legacy with that they want to pass their expertise on to people that they want to share their skills and their vision with. So the Mentor Project fulfills that for experts in a variety of fields from science, technology, engineering, art, math, law, finance, business, all of those areas. We have mentors who come in and are eager to pair up with other mentors and pair up with Mentees to share and exchange knowledge and information.
Marco Ciappelli 04:33
And Deborah, I want to jump right here because I want you to go even even a little bit more back in time. Because if there is a mentor project is because of what you have been working on before the mentor project which is connected with aging, and giving value. I'm going to say what happened after 40 And then maybe we'll you know we'll tip into why the reason why I say after 40 but you Yeah, tell us about what you were doing before the mental project, which by the way you're still doing so that we have a better perspective for White comes from.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 05:10
Sure. You know, when I've been in aging in the aging field, I'm an applied developmental psychologist and I started out in research in the 90s. And what we were always looking at was what we don't want to face. So as we get older things like depression, and frailty, and dementia, things that we should not be expecting to experience. But that's really all that has been thrown at us are the things that we should not be looking forward to. And I decided to pivot. Someone asked me, so why are you studying aging, and I so eagerly and happily told them, I'm working to reduce frailty and depression, and the person was like, great. That's all we have to look forward to. And I was pretty much crushed. Hearing that. And then it made me think, well, what do we have to look forward to? And that was the aha moment that started me on the path of really looking at what is it that we have to look forward to developmentally. And within that, I saw that in midlife, we hit an emotional stage most of the time. Anything to do with aging focuses only on cognitive and physical changes. And those we expect to peak when you're young, we're young and then to decline as we get older. So people then thought, well, there's nothing to look forward to. But our emotional trajectory starts just where we are when we're physical as babies, but it never declines, just goes up, up, up up all the way through our lifespan. And that's where I hooked myself on to that escalator that's always going up. Because there's so much that we have to look forward to emotionally. So when I looked at that started to really take a look at that. I said, Well, what is it emotionally that we're looking at that makes us happy. And it's three things that make us feel generative, that is a term coined by psychologist Erik Erikson. And it means that we want to give back or care for others without expecting anything in return. And there are three ways we can do that. One is volunteering. One is mentoring, and one is philanthropy. And I thought, let's try mentoring, I want to take a look at that it's free. And everyone has something they can mentor on, whether that's the best matzah ball soup you can make, or it's the best, you know, way that you can do something in engineering, whatever your thing is, you've got an expertise. And it's free that you can get involved in mentoring. So when I, I looked at that, that's where we ended up going with the mentor project.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 07:56
You know, Wu, talk a lot about from the perspective of the mentors, and I really want to hear even more about that. But there's also another perspective, and that's the mentees. So who are the mentees that you are mentoring? And can you talk a little bit about? I mean, I'm hearing that from the mentor perspective, they're gaining a lot of emotional happiness. We could you know, meaning in life legacy stuff. What is the mentees getting out of it?
Dr. Deborah Heiser 08:21
Well, the mentees are getting their first lift up in life. Just today I was in a meeting. You too, are there also was a metro project meeting where we learned that one of our mentees got to go to an exclusive conference. That is in a it's for people who do hacking and ethical hacking the good stuff where they invent things. And he got to go with two of the mentors, Bob cousins and Bill Cheswick. These two mentors have done amazing things. One patented how we use credit cards on the internet, and another was one of the fathers of the firewall. And these guys have been mentoring. This mentee for more than a year, and they took him to this conference. And he got to have his world opened up. He was with other people who are like Bob and Bill who do amazing things. But he was like a kid in a candy store, the mentee gets to have a life that they may not have ever had, without having the mentor there to guide them and to lift them to open doors and to make the world a bigger place than it was before they met their mentor.
Marco Ciappelli 09:34
Yeah, and I paid attention to the three things that you said that people can do. When they age to contribute to society to feel they're still in the game even actually, I don't want to say still in the game honestly even more in the game and whatever ever been because you have experience you have skills that you have developed and they are like volunteering and filling interfaith and mentoring, there's always a give into those words, you're giving either in one way or another you're giving without really asking nothing back. But you do get a lot back. And and you you talk about that quite a bit. What is the fulfilment that the mentor gets from this? There is the mentee to get that amazing experience and learning, but there is the mentor that wow, okay, I'm getting a lot.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 10:30
Well, absolutely, it's priceless. What the mentor gets, think about yourself, when you hit midlife and your old age, there isn't anyone I've met yet, who doesn't want to think that their life mattered when they lived on the earth? And when you hit midlife, you start to think well, what have I done, you start to take stock in everything you've done, you've already done a lot of things you may have been accumulating your knowledge and your craft and your expertise and all of that. It's like checking boxes. And then you say, I may not want to check more boxes. i What else is there? And did I matter? It's really like the movie. It's a Wonderful Life, when George Bailey realized that the contributions that he made to his community were actually meaningful, and that it mattered to so many people and the world would have been a different place without him. Well, a lot of us go through life. And we start with and we think we take for granted everything that we do. And when we mentor, when we volunteer, when we engage in philanthropy, we're actually making our mark on the world. And we're acknowledging that. And that is why it's priceless, because it makes us feel like, if there's something that's missing, we still have time to do that, or to make that contribution. But it also allows us to see that everything we've done was for a reason and a purpose. And there was value in everything that we've done. And it makes us feel like let me only engage in things that bring me value. As I go forward. It's quite powerful.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 12:12
Yeah, it's really like the meaning of life, right? And people start to think so what have I really done. And this is an opportunity to really bring meaning to one's life. And I've heard a lot of the mentors, even you know, we've talked about this, that we all experienced that just giving, giving back, nurturing, whether it's the next generation other mentors, being able to teach people all this stuff that we in fact, have learned and experience. There's nothing like giving it to others.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 12:40
I think it is the Holy Grail, a little piece of us lives on and someone else. So he said Bob and Bill live in on live on and that mentor mentee that they mentored a piece of them is going forward and whatever he continues forward with, and that's like immortality. So when we hear about the Holy Grail and people in search of it, we have it with this by giving back. That's how we live forever.
Marco Ciappelli 13:09
That's until we upload our consciousness into an artificial intelligence. And that's that's a story for another podcast. I guess. I'm getting carried away. Yeah. Can you give us? Well, as we know, we are there but the audience may be wondering, you mentioned stem and you mentioned few people very relevant, but I can add to that, that there are photographer there astronauts, there are incredible people, can you give us some other disciplines that the Mentor Project get involved with, and maybe even some initiative that you know that or, you know, more than us, so we're just rolling with you with that.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 13:51
I'm happy to tell you more about it. You know, we have two artists that we're sending to Tanzania. There's a school in Shiradi town, Surya, Tanzania, and there's a nonprofit organization reach Marathi that funds that school and helps the to operate it's 500 kids in a pretty remote area. And this school has never had art. So we are sending artists over who will be working with all 500 students on our projects, and 15 of the students will be chosen out of those who apply to work. You're around with one of our artists, Justin Thompson, who is a cartoonist, and he's going to be teaching emotions through art. And they'll be learning aspects of how you can express emotion and art throughout, you know, monthly programs after he leaves Tanzania. So while he while the artists are there in Tanzania, they're going to be doing a mural on one of the school walls and supplies that will last the entire year for the school will be purchased so that they can continue art within books with paper and all of the art supplies like paint and things like that that are needed. And chalk, there will be an opportunity for students to use, like sidewalk chalk, but on the side of one of the school buildings, so that that can wash away, they can redo it. And they don't need to have paper supplies and other things that are hard to come by there.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 15:32
And I'm excited for us to learn more about this Marco as well as our audience, because they're going to be our upcoming guests. They're actually one of the the near the in the near future, they're going to be yes. So we'll be hearing more about that project. Even before they go, we're going to do the before and after. Right, Marco, before they go. And then the after.
Marco Ciappelli 15:51
We're gonna go more in depth on that. Yeah, more disciplines that I want them to introduce. But it makes me think, while we were chatting today during the meeting, that we're never going to run short, no sedation, each single one. And then they know other people they know incredible people that made history of technology, history of photography, Pulitzer Prize. I mean, so we were like, we're like we are the one in the candy store. But like, oh, let's just pick another great conversation. So I'm very, very excited and grateful for that. So tell us maybe some some more conversation.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 16:35
So I have a specific question. Actually, if it's okay, Margo, no, of course, you know, I've known Debbie for and the mentor project for several years, we did some stuff during the height of the pandemic together, we really liked it a lot of stuff. And she's done an amazing job during the pandemic with lots of different stuff around not just around the country, but around the world around the globe. So I wonder I'm curious, Marco, if I could ask Debbie, what if you could do the highlights? Because when you started this several years ago, you did have a vision. And then I know it has evolved in expanded. So I'm asking you a lot in one question of but if you can give us an overview, because I think the audience would love to hear this. Like where you started, what some of the highlights have been for you in terms of where the mentor projects gone. And then finally, what the vision is for going forward. And again, I apologize. That's three questions in one. So but I know that you can answer those.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 17:40
Give it a step, I'll take a stab at it. So weird. The original vision was just to bring a few people together Bill and Bob and a couple of other people from the local area around here in the New York tri state area to bring. But really Bill wanted to get in his Tesla and drive to schools and teach kids, you know, quantum mechanics, by the time they were in fourth grade, things like that before they got jaded and didn't think they could do math and science. So the original idea was just to really be very, in, in front of kids in person, keep it real, keep it live. And we were doing that it was so much fun. And then the pandemic hit just like six months later. And so I thought, oh, maybe we're done, like what's going to happen? And then we just immediately pivoted and started doing everything on Zoom. And I mean, boy, was that a tricky time. We didn't know about zoom bombing until we got zoom, bombed, you know, things like that. Which, if any buddy in the very beginning of the pandemic was zoom bombed, they know just how awful that is when you're working with kids. So this was one of our first issues that we had, but we pivoted, we rolled with it. We put new standards in, we started to work with schools, we started to expand. Within six months, we went from 10 mentors to 80. And then now we have COVID.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 19:14
Again, 10 to 80!
Dr. Deborah Heiser 19:17
so before I started the metro project, people always I'm not joking with you, they would laugh at me. And they would say, nobody wants to give back. And why would any of those high level experts ever want to give back? They're all too busy for for this, they don't have time for that. They're not going to want to do it? And I thought, well, well, let's just see, then we'll just stick with the 10 of us. That's fine. We'll have fun. It'll be like a little group of, you know, family experience, so to speak. And, in fact, it was the the theories that they had out that work from decades ago, are really true, because people came forward and said, I want to do it. How can I get involved? Can I make a video that kids can watch about, you know, Bitcoin or about, you know, my area of expertise, everyone volunteer. So we ended up with, we have more than 400 video recordings from people who volunteered to do that. They volunteered to do way more than just that. And you know, Marco, and Susan, you're both mentors and the hours that you have put in, are on believable, none of us get paid. We're a 100% volunteer organization. And the fact that we're now at over 100 mentors, and we had to put a halt on bringing new people on, shows the power of why people want to give back and how they like it, and they stay on and they do stuff. I mean, you end up with a new family, you ended up with a new feeling about yourself and about life. That's how I feel. And that's how some others have said they feel. And so
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 21:04
it also had ripple effects, too. Because what you did if you could maybe just highlight some of the global initiatives that came actually from the connections through the mentor project.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 21:16
Oh, for sure. You know, I kind of went down rabbit hole with one response. But yes, you know, we are in several countries, we've worked with a school in India, we work all the time in Argentina. We work with Russia, we work with school in Russia, in Siberia, and the outran obviously, in Tanzania, of all across the United States, we're really, people are noticing what we're doing all over. And they're saying, How can we involve our school? Or how can mentors that speak different languages or from other countries get involved. And so it's just organically happening. It's just all organic.
Marco Ciappelli 22:06
And it's so organic, that on a certain point, lately, we had to take what look this is, well, we have this is all the people that have something to say. And maybe it's time to re strategize the way that we collect all this information. And that's what we've been working on, as you mentioned, the three of us and the contribution of many others. And so I want to take the opportunity here to kind of Susan, give a preview of what the vision is for what is to come both with perspectives, which is our show, but also with other mentors that will have their own show, at their own time when they can when they have a story to tell and to share and come on. So I would take this opportunity to do this, if you if you don't mind you, I'd love for you to share the vision, and how this will be a library. It's not going to be the Library of Alexandria, but it's gonna be a good library that you can go and, and learn things without paying one single dollar and learning from the best.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 23:17
Yeah. And, you know, the this podcast that we're doing, we're launching today and with a mentor project, if I can, I see we've discussed this. And I think we all we all agree that we're going to be using the this podcast, both ours as well as the other mentor mentors for them to actually be using it to mentor. It's another way of them mentoring. It's also they're going to use it as another vehicle for getting other messages out. There are lots of different topics, lots of different people both in the mentor project as well as outside that they're going to bring on as guests. And it's really going to be quite incredible to be able to use the both the podcast and the visual and the audio to let people know not only what's going on at the mentor project, but what's going on in their individual field, what's going on with their mentees what they want a mentor and use it as a mentoring vehicle.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 24:17
Oh for sure. When you two came together and decided which is lateral mentoring, by the way, you have people with completely different areas of expertise coming together with an idea to make something happened. And when you came together and said let's do a podcast and allow itsp magazine to partner up and bring the expertise that you have Marco of getting a podcast up and going people think you just get in front of you know a computer and you're like Shazam I'm hearing office off is a podcast that everyone's gonna listen to that's just not how it works. We've All heard bad podcasts. And so the real exciting thing is the two of you are coming together to bring. I don't even know how many mentors you have signed up already. But I know it's a lot. And they are going to be able to reach different countries, we have one that's going to come on and Spanish language that'll serve all sorts of countries that speak Spanish, and our country here in the United States, tons of people speak Spanish, you know, this is going to be just wonderful. But in addition to that, a lot of people don't have video access. But they can download something. If you are in Kenya, if you're in Tanzania, if you're in another country, you may not have great Wi Fi. So watching videos is not easy. But it's much easier to access and, and get to a podcast. So we're really lucky that our mentors are going to be able to reach such a wide, you know, out outreach in the world through these podcasts that you guys are setting up. It's just, it's really such a gift really is.
Marco Ciappelli 26:07
Yes it is. And I think we're using the word podcast quite loosely, lately. Because podcasts, and nowadays, it's also a multimedia tool. Right. So right now we are recording a podcast, which will be audio and it's also video. And some people may attach resources to maybe a book that they wrote, they can put an article, and the mentor project will be exactly that that container, where as long as it's the content that people can use to, to grow with their education, it's every everybody is welcome. And everybody's welcome to come enjoy it, share it with your other students, with your friend with that, tell it to your teacher, tell it to your librarian and make that available, because it's all about your vision. And we come in with you to share knowledge. And I am so excited about this that I wish I could just do these all day long.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 27:11
Thank you, we'll be pretty soon. You know, you were asked about the vision. And this falls within the vision of the future of the metro project, we really did shift from being a couple of people going into schools to now we're reaching 1000s of students, because we're able to do outreach that's like this through podcasts, we'll always want to meet in person. But the vision is to get into schools and into get our get students and to work in our innovation lab that we're going to be starting up within this next month. So that we can have students patenting, designing and developing, they don't have to be stem kids, it can be any kid, you know, you'll be working alongside other mentors and mentees from different backgrounds to create and develop things that haven't been developed before. So the vision really is to bring people from around the world together. And that's both mentors and mentees to communicate, make meaningful connections and to make very important changes in the world that are for the better, to bring positive things to the world, and to leave a very positive mark on the world.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 28:27
Yeah, and you know, that's wonderful and Miko, you and I have talked about this. And Debbie as well. One of the things that I'm so excited about too, that this podcast I think is going to do is it exposes kids as well as adults, Mentees and mentors to so many other areas, and to be able to collaborate on things that one never knows what's going to come from it so that a mentee could think that they only want to get men mentored in a particular topic. They hear about something else. And suddenly, it's opening their minds up to other interests, as well as mentors. We've seen this happen already in the Mentor Project, where mentors are alert, like you talked about lateral mentoring, mentors are actually mentoring each other and getting excited about doing other things even on here, right Michael? Like mentors who never did podcasting before are going to come on, they're going to learn how to podcast and they're going to create a podcast. So this is just I can go on and on. This is so exciting in so many different ways.
Marco Ciappelli 29:28
What it is, and I'm gonna do that is first of all, well, two perspectives. I'm gonna use this word as much. So you hear that a lot. So one is I want to bring the technology and Susan and Deborah, I want to bring this because a I talk about that from a philosophical sociological perspective all the time, but then I have YouTube that are a psychologist and we know what the role of technology in society is nowadays, and this is the right example pandemic arrives, you think you're done from doing things in person and all of a sudden, it explodes, right? Because people are, have more free time maybe to contribute. And so the role of technology in all of these are very important. But the other one is also I think it's, it's the fact that you can do it with just one little thing. Like, I think that's the problem. And we talked about that, Deborah, before. Mentoring, people think that it's, I don't have the time to do it. Because if I commit myself, it's going to have to be full time, and I can't do my job anymore. But really, it's taking the half an hour to give a couple of tips to someone. And, and again, not only is beautiful, but it's really, you can make it happen. And I would like for you to point on that is like, is that just an excuse sometimes that though, to take that first step and say, oh, there's too much, I will do it. But maybe one day,
Dr. Deborah Heiser 31:09
I think that there's a lot of apprehension, what I hear mostly is that people don't feel like they're an expert. I don't have the expertise, I'm not good enough, there has to be somebody better than me. And so then the excuse that they have is I don't have enough time. But really, most people have impostor syndrome about feeling like they're not the right, that they aren't an expert. And I see that with all the mentors. You know, we have people who've done unbelievable things, astronauts, you know, we have experts who are well known in the world, and they have impostor syndrome. So when they meet everybody else, they say, Why am I in the room. And that is something that we all tend to feel. And that I think is the biggest thing that hinders people from moving forward. But the one thing I can say is that every single person has an expertise. You know, we utilize people with expertise all the time, I don't go get my hair cut by my husband, I go to an expert, I don't, you know, I, I don't go get a birthday, or wedding cake made by, you know, my kids, I go and I will buy it from a store, buy from a person who is an expert in doing that. People discount the number of experts that we encounter every single day. And we only have a certain amount you can't have like the entire world of expertise. And each human being. We all hold our own and every single person has the time and ability to get back.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 32:50
Marco how many topics for podcasts? Did you hear in those few sentences? Right there. impostor syndrome. Being an expert, you know, there's so many things that we are going to follow up on and have a blast and discuss. Absolutely.
Marco Ciappelli 33:05
And I'm thinking as Deborah was saying this, I was just kept thinking about my grandma, or grandpa, you know, as a kid, you're going like, you know, who is the best chef in the world. I'm Italian. So I'm gonna throw that there. But I know you're in New York. So you're gonna understand this. Yes. And nobody cooks like my mom or my grandma. And that's an expertise. That's, that's not your transmit knowledge to the next generation. So I so love the fact that everybody's an expert, either either, you know or not, and everybody's a mentor. I think this is your thing. We just need to embrace the fact that experience come with knowledge. And yeah, and I
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 33:47
also know that it's not just you know, Debbie, I know that your vision was about bringing older people over 40 to be mentors. But one of the other things that has come out in the mentor project is that some of the mentees actually were mentoring, the mentors on certain topics. So it's not just for the over 40 crew, you don't have to be have a career in it. That especially with technology today, the mentees are teaching us because it's the first language for them, where it's for some of us, it's a foreign language. There's so much so anybody really can be a mentor in the area that they're most familiar in.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 34:26
Absolutely, yeah. And you know, that some of our mentees have become mentors in the hackathon. Yeah, they, you know, one student ran it, and another and helped design it and we had some mentees who had graduated out, aged out and they became they became mentors for the third years hackathon. And those who mentor when they're young or who are mentored and they acknowledge and realize that they've been mentored are more likely to mentor as they grow older. So it's some thing that it's never too early to start.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 35:03
And I also used throughout the word hackathon a couple of times. And just for our listening audience, you will learn more about the hackathon in an upcoming episode. I'm not going to give it away now. But stay tuned, because you will learn more about the actual hackathon. And who the winner was. So
Marco Ciappelli 35:20
you're gonna, you're gonna hear and see if you're watching the video here. If you're listening to the podcast. Looking forward to that, I think is going to be one of our next episode, I think. Yes,
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 35:32
yeah. I think that's next to be to be recorded. So great.
Marco Ciappelli 35:36
You're no no this thing like, now I want to talk a little bit about perspectives. And I want to Deborah's inputs on that. So we met through the, to the metal project, and then I invited you to be on my podcast. And then we started talking and sharing passion for old school, radio and media. And we always talk about that TV, and you know, things like that, how you communicate? And we'd like, Yeah, I mean, LA, you're in New York, but it really feels like we're just sitting at a coffee shop and having a conversation. So I feel like our conversation and I'm gonna give the Heads Up to people are really going to be unstructured. Like this one. So this is very big pilot of Bosco hosting. And we want to hear from you, the audience. Both what kind of conversation you would like to hear from us. If you have question follow ups, kind of like ask the editor or school again, media, because we want it to be a living room, a coffee shop, where we come and meet and there is no pretentious way to be or selling anything. It's I, I just get excited for this. It's kind of like I'm going out and having a coffee show a coffee with friends, even if I'm doing it. Thanks to technology here. That's my vision for it perspectives.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 37:06
I agree, Marco. I'm very excited. You know, we've been talking about this. And I'm glad that today, we're here finally doing it. And as you said, Yeah, we don't you know, we talked about this. There's lots of different ways we're going to bring information and conversations. And I agree, I'd love to hear from the listening audience, the watching audience, however, you're doing it listening, viewing, wherever you're doing it, whether it's seeing it on TV, or listening on a podcast, or the radio or wherever this is you're getting it. What did you like, you know, sometimes, and I know a lot of people that really do a lot of writing and publications, and it's unfortunate, but sometimes they get more fan mail quote from the people that have something disagreeable to say, and that's fine to disagree with us. But we'd also like to know what you you what you're liking what we're doing, what do you want to hear more of what's working? Because this is just this is a project in progress. Alright, we're gonna, we're gonna see how this goes.
Marco Ciappelli 38:00
How's that? I'm gonna ask both of you that, you know, the human mind a little better than me why people are so much more vocal when there is something wrong, and it's so hard to give a compliment. Instead, I wonder sometimes you're hurt, you know that there is hundreds of people listening to your episode, because you look at the analytics, uh, you know, but then if you look at what, no social media, maybe they, they don't share that. And that one that didn't like something will share it. So it can be a little intimidating.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 38:38
Well, we could probably have a whole episode on this, but I'll try to sign that one. And then I want to hear from from Debbie to being the, you know, in terms of what she does. So it's actually in our DNA. And it's for survival. Because from, you know, we've learned to pay attention to threats. And so as we evolved, we had to pay attention for survival, what what threatens us what and so I think that is a remnant of that, that it really gets to us emotionally, when we hear something that kind of gets our backs up. And wait, I don't agree with that. And that's from the old like, I need to protect myself, we go into kind of survival mode. And so I actually make it my business to always do the opposite. It's a very conscious thing. I will always do the compliment and tell people what they're doing right and go out of my way, actually, to call to send a note to give a comment on what I like. So Debbie, do you want to add to that?
Dr. Deborah Heiser 39:34
I was literally going to say exactly what I will say. I'm gonna give him a visual example of it. But Susan, and I teach intro psych. So when you said what you said, I was like, that's exactly what I would have said. Imagine yourself driving down the road, and you're driving happily. You're listening to the radio, everything's great, right? And it's fall the leaves are starting to change. Lovely outside. And then you see a car accident up ahead. What do you do? Do you slow down and look? Yes, you do? Did you slow down and look the whole time on the highway going? What beautiful leaves? No, you didn't. We are built just like Susan said to take in the negative because that's a threat that could be me, that could be a loved one that could that car accident is something that I take in, because it's it's a threat that could be me at some point, the leaves are just pretty, they're no threat to us. So when we hear when we hear things that are positive, see things are positive, we sort of just take it in instantly, but we don't really do much with it. But when there's a threat we do, so we're going to be more likely to respond to make a comment to react in a bigger way. If you see a spider or a snake rolling over. Most people go, Oh, you know, you don't go. And you know, say oh, okay, here's a here's a wild animal that could harm me. That's really how I visually interpret what Susan was saying.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 41:14
Example, love that example with the driving and the leaves in the accident.
Marco Ciappelli 41:18
Yeah, I agree, I get you make me think about that. Maybe it's a sign that the world is not as bad as we we picture it sometimes. Because most of the time, we're not in alert, we're not reacting like that. And obviously I agree, that means that I'm going to use the metaphor of driving on the highway, if I'm gonna have to congratulate to everyone that is drive. Okay, for everything that is pretty I just do that all the time. So let's take that as a very positive sign where the bad thing is the exception.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 41:55
It is all perspective.
Marco Ciappelli 41:57
Oh, my God, here you go,
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 41:58
there you go. You win the prize,
Marco Ciappelli 42:00
you get a candy. Right, exactly. Right.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 42:04
You know, I will say that, in addition to that I put out in an article about ageism. And you know, how ageism is changing, right? How this is a changing phenomenon, putting out all the positives about how stereotypes are changing, and all that I write all the time, I got so much hate mail from that, you need to talk about the negatives, you need to point out the negative things over and over and over. And I never would have predicted that. But that just goes to show that people if you're afraid of something, and a lot of people are afraid of growing, growing older, you will respond negatively it you know, like that's what I got from that word.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 42:48
Marco, so many topics are in my head for future shows. I'm excited. I have the list. I'm just making notes. And there's a lot that's coming out of this that I know you know, that's what I want to talk about.
Marco Ciappelli 43:02
That's that's what I do. Every time I get a news letter from the World Economic Forum or the artificial intelligence consortium, you know, everything about the good things and renewable energy. I'm like, Yeah, I want to talk about that. I want to talk about that. Because we are driven. And I know, I speak for you to Susan, by our curiosity. I don't want to corner ourselves in one specific thing. And that's why we used such a very general name, because we may end up talking with so many different mentors or other guests that maybe they're not mentors in the show that it because it sparked our interest. But I'll try not to do the news cycle that thrive on negative news, because that's what people buy. Right?
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 43:53
And like, you know, what, yes, but you know, Michael, yes. And there's a yes and right. And that's that is you know, how we came up with perspectives, because I could actually go into Debbie, why, perhaps, right, my imagination, why especially somebody who was in the field giving you that criticism, and telling you to not why he or she why they wanted you to not do the positives. I could actually give you some reasons, that would make a lot of sense. Because coming from their perspective, it may be that, you know, people are in denial about what aging is, and we don't then get the resources and then, you know, so so it could be but it's got to be both. And that's what I'm hoping it's like, it could be that they focus on the negative. And there's also room for you, you know, it's reminds me of a line from Hamilton. That yes, I've been obsessed with the show, Hamilton. The world is wide enough for all of us. All right, that was that the world is wide enough for both. And I think that that's the key, you know, looking at it The different different perspectives. And I think that, you know, we've talked about this, we need that more now than ever, because it seems like people are so intolerant of other people's perspectives and not open to hearing it. And it doesn't mean you have to agree with it. But it's about just understanding it. If you were in that person's shoes, having that person's experience, you would come to the same thought, or that they're at, and we're gonna explore all these different perspectives.
Marco Ciappelli 45:33
Absolutely, absolutely very exciting and excited hope people are getting the message of what is going to be. But I would like to take this final few minutes for two things and give it the mic back to Deborah. One, Deborah, if you will, like, announce maybe the your podcast show. In short, I know you're still thinking about it, but I'm excited. And then I would love for you to make a call to action for the mentor project, what people can do to participate to it. So the mic is yours.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 46:12
Thank you. Well, first, if you want to get in touch with the mentor project, there are several things that you can involve yourself in. And they're very generative. One is that you can donate, you can sponsor programs, you can sponsor things that is being philanthropic, and generative. And to do that, go to mentor project.org. You can also check out all of the offerings that we have on LinkedIn, on all of our social media sites on Facebook, look for the mentor project. And if you have ideas, give comments back to this podcast. Because we do listen to everything that people say. And if someone has an idea, we would love to be able to incorporate it. So if you'd like to be mentored, let us know. If you'd like to be a mentor, let us know. If you have a school that you'd like to get involved. Let us know mentor project.org, or through this podcast, the the podcast that I'm super excited to be doing is after 40. And it's going to be talking about everything after 40. So I don't think that most people know. But we become happiest in our lives after 40 We have a lot to look forward to after 40. And that's what this is going to be all about everything that we have to look forward to after 40. So you don't have to be 40 get a sneak peek for what's in store for you after 40. And if you are after 40, there's going to be a lot there that people are going to be able to tap into as resources.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 47:55
I'm excited to hear it.
Dr. Deborah Heiser 47:58
I'm excited to do it.
Marco Ciappelli 47:59
Yeah, absolutely. And as soon as you got your first episode out, I think that one of the one of the many topics that we wanted to cover on the show is to always, if somebody has a new show, or there is a new mentor, as we mentioned at the beginning, we will make an introduction maybe will not be an hour conversation like this one, which I hope we're not boring anyone because we had a lot to say. But sometimes maybe 15 minutes, 20 minutes just to give a shout out to something new that is coming up on the mental project as we are some sort of the news and updates, or the mental project, you will dedicate few minutes out of every show if there is something to say. And to highlight.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 48:44
It's great. Yeah, you took the words right out of my mouth Marco Absolutely. We're gonna be doing the highlights. And for each episode, it's great, as well as what you just said, having the guests on that are going to be launching their own podcast once they do one or a couple of episodes. So Debbie, we'll have you back on after you do a taping or two to launch your podcast. And we'll hear more about that. So this is very exciting. So you know, when when Debbie was mentioning the Bob and Bill, mentors, I kept thinking Marco we're going to have the Bob and Bill for episode two. So we look forward to future podcasts. The next is just to repeat up and coming for the Mentor Project. We're going to be having the project that's going to Tanzania, we're going to be having more information about the hackathon and the winner. And really all the mentors and I also want to add Debbie on the mentor project on mentor project.org website. You can find out about everything that the Mentor Project is doing as well as the podcast will be there. The videos will eventually be there as well, so that you can link to the podcast you can link to Also, if you want to watch it on, I believe it'll be on YouTube. But, you know, please stay tuned. There'll be some more changes on that website, as well. And this has been great. Marco, I'm, I'm very excited.
Marco Ciappelli 50:14
I think that's clear in the tone of our voice. And if you're watching the video, you've been our smiles and if you're watching the radio, just picture us smiling, Deborah's smiling. So I hope she had a good time. As the first guest of our show, and everybody else I'd say, there'll be notes on the podcast will be resources, of course, hold the links to the mentor project. And, and he will always be like that, again, we welcome your feedback. And if we have something to share, be sure that you can find it there. So I think that's it for now.
Dr. Susan Birne-Stone 50:52
It's great. We look forward to giving you and bringing you a new perspective and hearing your perspective.
Marco Ciappelli 51:01
That's our signature. The end!